Paula Collier-Ward is a Nurse / Midwife turned Osteopath with a thriving business and an appetite for life.
About Me
I went into Nursing aged 18 and became quite disillusioned during my training. So much so that, at the end of training when we had to do a research project, everyone else’s was on, surgical recovery from appendectomy or something, mine was alternative careers for Nurses disillusioned in the NHS! I was always a bit of a rebel. I went from there and I worked in a few different hospitals and I came across the same sort of problems again and again. In the end, I just thought, “You know what? I can do a better job of this myself. I can deliver good quality care without all the limitations of the NHS and managers and things.” So I went for it. I had already decided I didn’t want to have a job in the hospital I trained in. I maybe didn’t want to do Nursing at all…. I thought, “Well, I’ll go to America, do one of these Buna camps, work with young people.” I got the job as Nurse, because it was a bit cushier than anything else!
Frustrations with Nursing
The things I found frustrating about working in the NHS were things like, as soon as we got onto the wards, which in my training that was six weeks after I started the course, all the things you’d been taught, like taking a blood pressure, involved you having to find a blood pressure machine, and half the time they weren’t available. Then propping people up who’ve got respiratory conditions, but you can’t actually find any more pillows! So that poor management was a feature throughout my Nursing career. Again and again I would come across managers whose sole object was to try and make you feel small or not respect your ideas. If I can see there’s another way of doing something which is better, I don’t really keep quiet about that. I would say, “Why don’t we try this?” And people don’t like that -they think you’re stepping outside your station. So I did come up against a few managers who didn’t like me for that reason. In the end, I just had enough. One of the final things was about not just managers, actually, but the lack of teamwork amongst the Nurses. Well, actually they were Midwives, because I was a Midwife as well. I would pass something on for the late shift and I’d made it really clear I hadn’t done this, and then later on I got into trouble because it hadn’t got done. But I had passed it on. There was no teamwork. So I found I used to like doing 12 hour shifts because I knew everything was done. I didn’t pass anything on. I could manage my work myself and manage my time myself, and that’s been one of the best things about working for yourself. You have that control of doing that. My most hated phrase was people would say, “We don’t do it like that here.”My thinking would be “But it works so much better and it saves so much money and it saves time, and why not?” I was usually met with “Because we don’t.” It’s frustrating.
Financing Training
To finance my Osteopathy training I went in selling. So I sold home insurance. It was in a call centre and it was alright, but I knew there was an end to it. I was going to be there a year. I was going to make sure I sold as much as I could and work my socks off for a year. And I did. I made enough money to finance my first year in college. At the same time I kept my Nursing registration ticking along. I did a few shifts just to keep my registration. And then, after that, when I started the course then, I kept on with my Nursing and Midwifery. So it was pretty tiring, because I had two children. I’d look after them during the day, see them off to school, settle down and do my studies, and I’d have to be at my desk by nine thirty I finished at three, went and got the kids from school, and then my husband would come home at half five and then I’d go out to do my shift, starting at six. So it was bang, bang, bang, bang. It was tiring, because mentally you’re unwinding at that point in the day, when you’ve got to gee yourself up again and get out there. More to the point, at the other end of the day, I’d come home, I’d finish at ten, but, by the time I got home and actually had something to eat and unwound, it was gone midnight. So… it was tiring. I did that for a couple years. And then the course started to ramp up a bit more in intensity. I just couldn’t carry on like that. We are lucky enough our be homeowners and we had to remortgage the house anyway, so we just added a bit on which just covered those last two years.
Support
My husband was very supportive. I’d fed the tidbits of what an Osteopath or a Chiropractor could earn and the sort of lifestyle we could have, and that was really helpful. But, more than anything, he wanted to see me happy. And I think in Nursing, he’d seen me coming home at the end of a shift just demoralised, perhaps had a bit of a run in with someone who was being awkward. They’re never the patients, it was always the staff. And I began to think, “Is it me? Is it me?” I am a bit of a square peg in a round hole when it comes to the NHS? But I’m not a horrible person. Sometimes I came home thinking that maybe I was. Maybe I had some sort of personality thing that meant I was a bit horrible. But- since working for myself, I found my own route and my own strengths and I realised, “No, I accept that I’m not perfect at everything.” Nobody really questioned me. I mean, my mum was always a bit of a worrier, and she said, “Oh, should you be leaving a regular salary in the NHS?” I’m very much like my Dad, and my Dad had his own business and it was really important to me that I had his approval. And he knew all the ups and downs of having a business. In all fairness, his business didn’t really take off, but he was very supportive of me. I think that, together with my husband, was really good. And my dad said on my wedding day, as part of the speech, “What Paula wants, Paula gets,” which made me sound a bit precocious, but what he meant was, if you focus on what you want, it’s really important to have a realistic focus, and that’s why the book ‘What Color Is Your Parachute?’ was useful for me. I think talking to people along the way is really important. But, when that endpoint is clear, you can go for it. My brother-in-law, who is a great entrepreneur, once said to me, “Don’t look at the obstacles, just focus on the goal and then work your way around the obstacles. Don’t let the obstacles stop you.” And so I liken it a bit to the Grand National, which is I think is a good analogy for life anyway. You have these obstacles that come up in life, as you do in your own business, and you need to just jump them, to keep jumping the hurdles. You’re a racehorse going along the course at Aintree, keep jumping the hurtles. And you jump one and then you’ll have a nice smooth bit for a while and you can gallop freely. And then just the next one. And just, as you think you’ve finished, you come across Becher’s Brook, one of the biggest jumps at all. But you’ve already done all that jumping, it’s just another jump. And having that analogy in my head helped me not be daunted by it all. You just go, “It’s just another jump.”
Drivers
Working for myself, was really important to me. I didn’t want to be managed by anyone else. I didn’t want to be fired by anyone else. I didn’t want to be told, “No, you can’t have your annual leave.” If I’ve got somebody’s wedding coming up, I want to go to that, I don’t want to be trying to swap shifts with someone. I didn’t want any of that. I wanted to be my own boss, and I wanted to work in an environment that I was really happy with. My clinic is a nice, restful, lovely place to be. We’ve got some rooms which are more clinical. I’ve surrounded myself with people who are really good at what they do, and they’re nice people. I want to live my life being really happy at work. So that’s why it was so important for me to have my own business. And, right from the start, I was doing the sums and I was quizzing people who had their own business to see whether that was going to be something that was viable. There are the obvious things like you can have time off when you want and you can pay yourself what you want, within reason. When I was doing the course, because the course was, at times, hard, exams are stressful and you have your little moments, and I used to say, “I’m doing the course for a horse.” Because ever since age 10, I always wanted a horse. Then I got my horse.
Growth
I live a full life. That’s what I wanted, I was very, very content in my life, and still am. So that was one of the things. But I think having your own business, nurses have to be adaptable, you have to be in your own business too, and you have to learn lots of new skills. But each of those is really quite exciting. And it feeds into your self-confidence. And you go, “Wow. I just did some social media today. And I actually learnt how to post something and I now know how to use this software.” And then you go… I’ve always been rubbish at math’s, so I had a bookkeeper. But now I’m on like, “I’m on Xero now. I do my own bookkeeping. I’ve learnt that myself.” And each thing, whether you’re learning how to do some marketing or whether you’re learning how to do some networking or whatever it is, there are so many different skills to learn in your own business, but that makes it really interesting. And each one of those skills that you learn just builds on your self-confidence and you almost feel invincible. “I’ve got skills to do that.” So I think having your own business helps with that a lot. And makes you into a more rounded, confident person, I think. I have also trained as a Celebrant. I was thinking about the pandemic “Are we going to survive this? Do I need to reinvent myself as something else?” And I looked around thinking, “Well, what businesses are doing well at the moment?” And, just as I was thinking, I’m a big believer in fate, again and again fate has come to prove herself quite an ally, and just at that moment as I was thinking, “Do I need to think of something else?” an advert came on the TV and it was for funeral plans. And I was like, “Okay, do I start selling funeral plans?” And I’m like, “Ah, I don’t know if I want to be in that business, really.” And funeral directors, it’s all pomp and ceremony, and I’m like, “I’m not really someone who fits in within that tight realm of pomp and ceremony.” But I was just talking it through with a friend, and she said, “Oh, my friend’s training to be a celebrant.” So she explained what it was. Now, look at the analogies to nursing here. You’ve got to really listen to what families have got to say, you’ve got to listen in between the lines, you’ve got to hear what they’re not saying. And then you have to reflect it back and say, “Is this what you’re saying?” “Is this what this person was like? Are you saying this?” And then you get a nice, rounded picture. And then what was a surprise to me was that I get to go and write that up now into some sort of service and then I get and present it.” What was really lovely was I didn’t realize how fulfilling writing a creative piece of writing is. And it’s not fictional, it’s about a real person’s life, but you have to make a story out of it and you have to make it interesting and you have to make it, so people want to listen, but they believe that you knew this person. And I just love that. That’s such a challenge. So I’ve done funerals. I haven’t done any weddings yet, and I’m really looking forward to that. I used to be a midwife and I treat a lot of babies as an osteopath as well, so I really want to get into baby naming ceremonies, because, again, that’s full of hope for the future. It’s the other end of the spectrum. You can be very creative with that and you can create rituals that people remember. So yeah, I’m looking forward to ticking those creative juices as well. It is a paid role, albeit not very well paid… because… well, it depends how many you do. If you do a lot then you can make a good living. And I’m looking ahead. Osteopathy is a very physical role and I don’t intend to stop working when I’m 66, so I want something that I can still be useful and still be creative and still really help people and do a really good job, but it doesn’t necessarily involve people around the clinic. So that’s another positive. I will then start building up my work as a celebrant. So, at the moment, I just want to keep it ticking along. As it stands, the funeral directors will pay what they pay an Anglican priest and, because most priests have taken some vow of poverty, it’s about £200. Which is all right, you might think, but you tend to put in about 12 hours of work for that.
Regrets
I think I’ve learnt from every job I’ve done, good and bad. And I’ve had a lot of jobs. I was changing jobs every year at one point, still keeping my nursing going. And I think that’s perhaps the only slight regret. I wished I’d kept my nurse registration because, in my current role, that would be useful. If I had my nurse registration as well, it would be just easy to take bloods, for instance, from somebody that I’m thinking, “I think you’ve got an arthritis.” instead I’ve got to then write to their GP and say, “I think they may have a seronegative Arthritis. Can you do some bloods?” and then it’s up to them if they want to act on that or not.
Ultimate Goal
I think for the future, personally it’s nice to have some plans and some fluidity. So I’ve got some plans, but I don’t go, “I’m going to do that.” I talk to people, I listen for opportunities. For instance, I treat a lot of babies, and I’ve been starting to go down that route where I do even more courses and that could become my sole practice because it’s a lot easier on my body to see the babies. There’s lots of things that could happen, and sometimes it’s about seeing those opportunities and testing the water and getting a clearer picture of whether that’s right or not.
Value of Nursing
I don’t know whether it’s a Nursing skill, but it’s certainly a skill that Nursing develops, and that’s empathy. I think, if you can empathise, whatever role you take on, if you can empathise with people and really step into their shoes and really get under their skin and value them as you would a member of your family or your best friend, people really do appreciate that. So, even when I don’t get people better, they thank me anyway because they know I’m on their side.The word ‘Midwife’ means ‘with woman’ and I think if people know you’re on their side, you’re there for them, you’re not trying to make money out of them, you want them to get better. That’s the core of everything I do. And I think most Nurses are ethical people. They’re coming at Nursing for the right reasons, because they really want to help people. I think, if you hold onto that and you take it forward with you, whatever you do, people will know you’re genuine, because it shines through. It shines through, and people buy from people, don’t they? The professional register also helps to validate that. Both as an Osteopath, we’re also registered in law as well. People trust Nurses because you can have registration taken away if you don’t behave in an honorable way anyway. You come with ready packed credibility, don’t you, by being on a professional register.
Pearls of Wisdom
it’s very easy, as a Nurse, to be subdued, to be kept down, to be kept in place. And, whether it’s down to the pay, because people say “It’s a calling and you’re angels.” All this stuff, which all stems from the religious sisters who were Nurses. That subliminal control’s still there, I think. But also, most Nurses are women, and there’s a great book which I really urge women to read. It helps describe how, without realising, women are limited and not always as respected as they should be. And the book is called ‘Invisible Women’ by Caroline Criado Perez. We have to realise our own potential. The book ‘What Color Is Your Parachute?’ helps you to realise where you’re being controlled and by who, whether it’s a Nurse manager, whether it’s your partner, whether it’s your friend, your parents, whatever it is, and break free. Because when you start believing in yourself and going, “Hang on a minute. I don’t want to be doing this. I don’t like the way I’m being spoken to here. I don’t like these rules, it doesn’t sit well with me.” Then you can start unshackling yourself from all of these things and you can find your own way. I believe in that. You can create your own destiny, and I really believe that. I think you need to surround yourself with people who are supportive, because it’s hard to do stuff completely by yourself, and you need people who you can use as a sounding board that are not going to judge you. That can mean paying for professional advice., get help to guide you. But surrounding yourself with the right people is really important. And I still do that now in my clinic. I can’t be everything to everybody. I try, but I can’t be. So I make sure there are people who I respect around me that I can then utilise. I think, if you can do that at the very beginning, you can get support from people, you get encouragement from people. So when it’s hard, they can give you a little boost and say, “You know you can do it.”Write down your goals and say, “This is what I want. I want to do this because I really feel this.” Write down what you feel. When you read that again, you’ll remember that emotion because you’ve written it down as you’ve felt it. And then you’ll confirm “Yeah, I really, really do want to do this. And okay, it’s a bit hard at the moment, but I really do… I can feel how I felt then when I wrote it.” There’s lots of little tricks that can help you on your way. But having supportive people around you, I think, is probably the biggest one.
My business has a strap line, if you like, is, “Helping you be the best you can be.” And that’s my ethos for life.
Be the best you can be. Don’t sit there being miserable and negative. Be positive and find a way of working it out and be happy. Make your happiness, because nobody else will.